Money is a covenant issue
Two believers can agree completely about scripture and still divide over money, because money reveals loyalty. In diaspora marriages the question is rarely only 'what do we earn'. It is 'who else are we responsible for, and how much'.
Disclose these plainly
Say the numbers out loud. Approximations hide the problem.
- Income, and how stable it actually is
- Debt, including family loans and informal obligations
- Monthly support sent to parents or siblings, and whether it is expected to continue
- Savings, and what they are being saved for
- Expected wedding costs and who is assumed to be paying
- How decisions above a certain amount will be made together
Agreement, not silence
The goal is not for one partner to stop supporting family. It is for both partners to agree, in advance and without resentment, on what support looks like inside the marriage they are building.